shimmy shimmy ya

this won't be anything long winded, just wanted to let you know that on my way to school today, the old man next to me on the train shit himself. on the way back, the woman across from me was intently reading the novelization of the film Booty Call.

god bless.

more on my porn problem

sorry to beat the shit out of this dead horse, but it's getting worse, and I wanted to share some of the assumed names of the servers sending me these emails. none of these people exist, which is why it frightens me that their names sound more real than real peoples' names.
they are as follows:

Elmo Knapp
Beverly Gentry
Corlton Sylvester
Ines Cameron
Fernando Dunbar
Delbert Cormier
Prince Kirkpatrick
Dianne Bergeron
and, sticking more closely to his robot heritage we have SanServ bringing up the rear.

each of these names belong to a computer or robot of some sort, and though they don't live and breathe as we do, you can see that they have their own struggles. you see, Ines and Fernando share a similar plight, as they are the products of an inter-o.s. union. Ines and Fernando's mothers were both assembled in mexico, yet their paternal bot units were built-n-bread right here in silicon valley, thereby leaving the kids with a gringo last name. moreover, their fathers are both macs. this undoubtedly caused them a great deal of idenity confusion, angst, and packet loss.

i'm not really sure what Elmo's story is but i bet it involves an affinity for knives.

i have a gmail account

and until just recently my spam box was relatively empty. i enjoyed for the first time in my life an e-mail service which didn't require the vigilant deletion of the majority of incoming mail. it was a happy time, one in which i was able to enjoy my online experience day to day, one where, if necessary, i could check my email in public without worrying about catching looks of serious disapproval from that bitch next to me watching flavor of love clips on vh1. those days are gone. currently, my inbox is brimming with 344 messages of dubious moral intent.

now, i've gotten porn emails in the past, but the methods these guys are currently employing have gone far beyond the boundary of good porn vending taste. All of these emails claim to be from "Bud" or "Tiffany" or "Roland" or any other name that one might mistake for a genuine acquaintance if they were retarded, and the subjects are descriptions of any given number of sexually depraved acts, only each word has like six more k's than it needs.

this sucks and all, but when i actually read one i found something that kind of made this whole thing okay. apparently they have some sort of generator that slams random words together to look like a cohesive email body in order to fool the robots that look for that kind of thing. which sounds pretty normal except that these things pretty much generate erotic robot poetry, some of which is incredibly tight. like the following:

dissolute granny gets fisted and fucked
amazing girl pose on the floor nude
Stripping sexxy blondie
wild horny girls at the drunk party
An art of cocksucking drawings


and people still doubt the merits of a.i.