i have a gmail account

and until just recently my spam box was relatively empty. i enjoyed for the first time in my life an e-mail service which didn't require the vigilant deletion of the majority of incoming mail. it was a happy time, one in which i was able to enjoy my online experience day to day, one where, if necessary, i could check my email in public without worrying about catching looks of serious disapproval from that bitch next to me watching flavor of love clips on vh1. those days are gone. currently, my inbox is brimming with 344 messages of dubious moral intent.

now, i've gotten porn emails in the past, but the methods these guys are currently employing have gone far beyond the boundary of good porn vending taste. All of these emails claim to be from "Bud" or "Tiffany" or "Roland" or any other name that one might mistake for a genuine acquaintance if they were retarded, and the subjects are descriptions of any given number of sexually depraved acts, only each word has like six more k's than it needs.

this sucks and all, but when i actually read one i found something that kind of made this whole thing okay. apparently they have some sort of generator that slams random words together to look like a cohesive email body in order to fool the robots that look for that kind of thing. which sounds pretty normal except that these things pretty much generate erotic robot poetry, some of which is incredibly tight. like the following:

dissolute granny gets fisted and fucked
amazing girl pose on the floor nude
Stripping sexxy blondie
wild horny girls at the drunk party
An art of cocksucking drawings


and people still doubt the merits of a.i.